November 6, 2017

‘You are not enough!’

…or else, how to overcome social media induced jealously (coming straight from a blogger’s mouth)..

 

 

It’s been nine months since I wrote about blogging more from the soul and I feel that I am finally getting there! Natbee’s has been a great journey for the past 10 years and I am so happy I managed to document some of the most significant life moments on this blog. I will always cherish posts like thisthis and especially this! However, with me getting older and growing as a person, I think it is about time my blog changes as well, fitting more into my current lifestyle and preferences. I am not saying that I will ever stop travelling and blogging about my trips but I feel that blogging just for the sake of accepting a sponsored collaboration or telling you that I have been to another event is not something that makes me happy. I am not a supporter of how much the blogging community has changed over the past years and I refuse to be part of the competitive part of it. Plus, I like spending my time doing the things that I like the most so why spend time editing pictures and writing articles about something that doesn’t interest me?

 

 


Duthie Park, Aberdeen

 

As I was waiting for my flight the other day I scrolled through my Twitter feed only to realise that the majority (I kid you not) of the bloggers I follow where shamelessly bragging about

.

.

.

 

a new exciting collaboration,

 

an amazing email that just landed in their inbox,

 

an invitation to a superb event that they are going this Saturday and

 

a press trip that is on the cards.

.

.

.

I am very happy and proud of people who get all these things but where else have you ever seen this kind of online bragging with vague statements? (Disclosure:: I use the term ‘bragging’ because that exactly what it was rather than a statement that turned into a harmless spontaneous tweet!). None of my colleagues ever broadcasted in the office about an upcoming promotion or a payrise before they even happen because a) what’s the point?, b) there’s always a good chance things might go wrong and c) there’s a high possibility this endless bragging could hurt your colleagues feelings. These things happen and we get to congratulate each other at a later stage. So how could people with influence do this on Twitter and not take into consideration how much they could hurt people and subsequently make them feel that ‘they are not enough’?

 

 

It made me sad to read people’s comments on social media posts saying ‘I wish I had your life’,  ‘your hair is goals’, ‘can I please have your legs’ or ‘your are the best couple ever’! The fact that social media create insecurities- especially in vulnerable, young groups- has been long proven by social experiment studies, but what do influencers do to avoid deceiving their readers and getting them into such self doubt traps?

 

 

The I wish I had your life is the saddest when it comes from teenagers who don’t have the maturity to see the deceiving concept behind social media. If I had that 16 year old girl in front of me, I’d tell her to study hard, get into University and do something that will make her proud and happy, and not to want be someone who pretends to live a perfect life on Instagram. The hair goals you say? You too would have beautiful hair if you were provided with comped hairdressing services on a weekly basis. The can I please have your legs? If only I could show to people how easy it is to elongate your legs and how much fashion Instagrammers do it these days-to a shocking point on multiple occasions. As for the perfect couples, I will never forget the time one of my favourite American lifestyle bloggers, back in 2007, announced her divorce! She and her husband seem to be so into each other and literally have the perfect life, but what they showed was completely different to what was really happening. So always take this ‘perfect couples shot’ with a pinch of salt..

 

 

Reality is completely different than what you see…


 

How to overcoome blogger's jealously

People see only the good side of someone’s life on the Internet and by doing so they don’t realise that by the time this Instagram shot was taken the food was cold // the rain started // the picnic basket was attacked by bugs // the rain started just after the outfit shots where taken and so on. What you see and makes you jealous is ultimately a fake concept!

 

 

What I want to achieve with this post is not make you disbelief or hate bloggers/Instagrammers. I am a blogger too, and along with thousands other bloggers out there we choose to be honest and transparent with our lifestyle, appearance and situations because we value our readers and do not wish to create misleading impressions. Sadly, I cannot control what everyone posts (and who am I to do so anyway?!), but I am in a position to spot the Photoshop and the lies (and bragging) behind social media since I am part of the industry all these years. The teenager girl who keeps commenting ‘goals’ on Instagram is not though, so if I could make her understand reality and feel better with herself through thus post then my goal is achieved!

 

 

 

If you are reading this and have fallen into the rabbit hole here are 3 steps that will help you forget about this ‘Instagram perfect’ life and get you to overcome any jealously caused by social media::

 

 

1//Acknowledge that content creating is a job!

The minute you understand that content creation is a job and you realise that blogger’s (and especially Instagrammers) are simply doing their job then you’ll instantly feel less jealous. Seeing one of the swimming pool view shots from my hotel room balcony, might make you feel jealous. BUT knowing that to deliver this shot I had to climb up a balcony to get the best angle to photograph the swimming pool (that I never even tried) would perhaps make you see part of the reality.

 

2// Bloggers work with deadlines so holidays are not real holidays

Would you rather go on holidays and do whatever you fancy or be on a press trip that you have to post 3 Instagram shots (+unlimited Instagram stories) per day while you are working on other freelance Marketing projects too? Travel bloggers might be going on holidays quite regularly however they do not lie around the swimming pool as you might potential be thinking they do. Blogger holidays are not the same as the summer holidays you go with friends, so nothing to be jealous of here 😉

 

3// Comparison is the thief of joy.

Focus on making your life meaningful and rich, and don’t compare it to anyone’s else. We all walk into different pathways and go through different experiences for a reason. Appreciate what you have and do not take anything for granted. If you have a house to sleep, hot food and a laptop you are richer than the average person on this planet! The minute you understand the importance of this you will be happy and free!

 

Have you ever felt that you are not enough because of social media? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Anastasia x

12 Comments

  1. Thank you for speaking your truth, Anastasia! Social Media makes it difficult to separate what is reality from what is staged- and it can be terribly damaging to those who don’t know this. It’s difficult to control what other people are posting, but it’s up to us to recognize the distorted reality and adopt a different (positive) mindset!

    xo Leda

    • My thoughts exactly Leda! We cannot tell off people who obsessively change their appearance through Photoshop or don’t disclose hotel reviews and make it appear as if they are jet-setters, however it is up to us to let people who are not involved in the blogging industry know what is true and what is not 😉

      xx

  2. Brilliant read!
    I often find myself thinking how crap my life is compared to bloggers being constantly on holidays.
    Thank you for clearing this up in such a nice way.

    Linda xx

  3. I love your advice posts Anastasia and I am glad to see you back into blogging.
    To be honest, when I scroll down my Instagram in the morning and all I see is expensively dressed girls going on holidays (often to a different place every week), I wonder what did I do wrong in life. You know, sometimes telling the truth is uncomfortable especially if you are a blogger yourself, so thank you for stepping ahead and writing about all these things! I’ll definitely not be jealous from now and on!

    • You do nothing wrong Margaret! I am sure building a career and all this hard work will pay you off one day. I am sure that some of these bloggers have worked hard to go on these trips too but blogging is not a sustainable career so I wouldn’t be much jealous if I were you. Things have changed massively in the last 10 years of blogging and I do not know how much more they will change in the future. So much to know and answer!

  4. I’ve been hating such boasting kind of statements on Twitter for sometime now!

    Like, why is there a need to tell me that you are going to 2 events tomorrow or that the hotel you booked doesn’t provide flamingos in the swimming pool or that your mongrammed bag costs $500 but it was gifted to you. Since when bloggers became so bitchy and entitled?

    (But really, when did that all started?)

    Michaela

    • Hi Michaela, I think people do such statements out of insecurity? To me, when someone is trying so hard to convince me that they are the best going on one event after another etc. it smells fishy! The really successful people don’t have the time or are in need to tweet about such things, right? Some are bitchy and entitled but I wouldn’t say all of us! I hope you haven’t lost your faith and you still keep reading your favourite ones 🙂

  5. I think it takes balls for someone to stand up and say all these things about the influence of social media on teenagers, especially for someone who is a blogger herself!
    You just got yourself a loyal reader here.

    • Oooh welcome! Thank you so much! I don’t think I am the first one to talk online about these things but I appreciate you saying it 🙂

  6. Hi lovely Anastasia!
    I came across your Instagram stories about this post and it really hit a nerve on me. I always had a soft spot about social media anxiety, thank you for speaking the truth!
    Social media can make things seem so perfect on the outside, which is not often the case. So thank you for putting that out there, it’s very refreshing…

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