How hate forums have put me off blogging

How hate forums have put me off blogging

Blogging is a funny thing! Putting yourself out there can be scary; people read about your life, pick up details from your appearance, misinterpret your words and so the gossip commences! As Natbee’s has grown, so has the engagement with my audience, and in consequence, so has the negativity. How hate forums have put me off blogging

When I started this blog, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and to be honest, I thought my mum and sister would be the only two people reading these pages. There was no strategy, no good camera equipment and it was all very much amateurish. But with the Natbee’s nomination at the Cosmopolitan Blog Awards in 2012, it was only a matter of time for things to take off for my blog.

I remember when I was asked to write a short bio about myself that along with my portrait was featured in the Cosmopolitan magazine and their online website – I can reassure you my mum still has a copy of this issue up until today, the impact this little feature had on my blog’s traffic was insane!  Then next year came another nomination from Company magazine, and the story repeated itself. Of course it helped a lot that I was living in London, attending events and making connections with other bloggers and PRs.

When GOMI stopped me from blogging

When GOMI stopped me from blogging

For the first time, I read about marketing and blogging, bought myself an expensive camera and put more thought into each of my blog posts. To my advantage, Instagram was not a thing at that time so all my attention was focused on building Natbee’s and getting to know more about the industry. The more I attended events and chatted with my peers, the more I understood the value of blogging and the potential presented in front of me! How hate forums have put me off blogging

For many years it was all rainbows and butterflies. Posting 4 times per week while working and studying full-time was hard, but there were no pitfalls along the way. I was content and excited for every single blog post I was posting. I had build a wonderful, and I mean this in every inch of it, WONDERFUL community of followers who loved my posts and seek my advice when it came to travelling and visiting places. From University of Aberdeen prospective students asking me about studying in Aberdeen, to oil & gas workers asking me about accommodation advice, to 3000 people watching this video about ‘How expensive is life in Volos‘, because they considered moving there as Erasmus students, I met and chatted with so many of you I can only be grateful for your support and trust on me.

But there is that 1% of readers that is pursuing efforts to put me down and lately their comments really got down on me.

When GOMI stopped me from blogging

Ever since online gossip forums for bloggers were created, people were compelled to read blogs and head into these hate forums to comment about bloggers appearance, style of writing, ethics, photography and anything else you can imagine.

I have promised again and again not to pay attention to the comments people make on these forums about me and to keep Natbee’s a positive space of creativity and inspiration that I’d never discuss about things as such. But lately, they really got into me and I feel that I lost all my desire to login WordPress and pour my thoughts and day-to-day life in a blogpost. How hate forums have put me off blogging

When GOMI stopped me from blogging

Throughout my 11 years of blogging I have heard all sorts of accusations, some as far-fetch as to imply that I haven’t studied for a PhD and that I was pretending to be a PhD student for the appearances! Another, funny one, came by someone who spotted me around the streets of Aberdeen wearing a winter coat in the middle of August and concluded that I have no fashion sense. People have called me snob, cold, rude and some of them went as far as to email PRs that I have worked in some marketing campaigns and tell them that they shouldn’t be working with me as I am no good fit for the brand based on a series of made-up lies that the said PRs could never get track of online.

And the list is endless:

”She has forehead lines

Her skin is so dry, how old is she?

I cannot stand her face

Her accent is so annoying”

Much of the comments lately are focused around my skin, my age and my accent which does not bother me at all as I cannot please everyone with my looks and my accent is something I am proud of and I wouldn’t want to change it even if I could (clue: I can’t!).

It took me a great deal of effort to delete two of these forums by asking their administrators to remove all comments, especially after people started commenting on my family and friends. None of them chose to be on the internet and I thought it was selfish of me to have them massacred by online strangers just because my profession evolved around the internet.

How hate forums have put me off blogging

When GOMI stopped me from blogging

wearing: stitch stripe hem jumper by Celtic & Co (gifted)

Since I had these two forums deleted (and to my knowledge as of today, only one is still live), I promised not to read or pay attention to what people say. But this hasn’t stopped the influx of negativity and as they cannot comment on forums, the new form of getting into me is by sending me direct messages on Instagram sometimes from fake accounts sometimes from personal private accounts that I have no access.

Let me get one thing straight here: constructive criticism based on facts is always welcome, I take notes of your suggestions and improve myself, but un-based accusations and false assumptions are there only to make me feel bad about myself and so I refuse to respond to them. I see no point and it is a waste of my energy.

Getting paid to blog and going on press trips has really worsen the situation. People with no background in the ins-and-outs of the blogging industry believe I am spoiled. They totally disregard that this is my job now and that like they wake up in the morning to get in their office, I wake up and start planning my content for the day and week ahead, whatever this might mean; travelling to review a hotel, getting dressed up to take pictures of an outfit, attending an event to network with marketing agencies that will bring potential collaborations my way and having brunch meetings, are just a few of the things on my schedule and duties of my job.

Blogging is not the most difficult job I have ever done – working as a researcher in academia all these past years has really put things in perspective and I feel utterly grateful that I can make a living out of Natbee’s and I do not have to work again in a laboratory – but then, there are days that I find myself sitting in my desk up until late at night working and not being able to have a single lunch or tea break. These days happen too, it’s just that I don’t document them because it is pretty damn fun to post about the nice moments of life – just like anyone else does on social media these days, but does this really mean that I am spoiled, that things come easy and that people are entitled to message me nasty things?

If I was working under a company or I was at school, I would have taken actions against this form of bullying, but being a one-woman business and doing all the work from my home, makes things a bit more difficult for me. If you are reading this, and have ever commented on these forums or messaged me on Instagram, please bear in mind that I am a human just like yourself. As I am sure you would never stop someone down the street to call them the things you call me on your messages, please consider twice before you text me or comment about me again. If you feel that I am spoiled and that I don’t work enough or I haven’t studied for a PhD, I am more than happy to take you for a coffee, discuss things and perhaps by getting to know me a bit more you’ll, hopefully, change your opinion of me. Your comments have really put me off blogging lately and it really makes me sad to know that there is a bunch of you out there thinking negatively about me without me giving you the right to do or think so!

If you made it up until the end of this post, thank you. If you have been reading Natbee’s all these years, thank you. And if you are in the 99% who finds joy in reading my blog posts, thank you too. I wish I could please everyone but I have learned that even if I don’t it is still acceptable.

Anastasia

 

 

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Anastasia

Anastasia is a Greek in Scotland via England! She’s passionate about life in Aberdeen, exploring new places and petting dogs. When not working she runs Natbee’s and enjoys countryside walks with her puppy Cruz.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook

26 Comments

  1. Aileen
    April 4, 2019 / 11:58 am

    I hate keyboard warriors, they really are the worst! I like your blog, I like your insta and I like you. If I didn’t I wouldn’t read you. You just do you and I will keep reading you 🙂 xx

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:44 pm

      Thank you Aileen for your kind comment and all your support! You might be one of my very first readers since I moved in Aberdeen so thank you for being here all these years xx

  2. Ruth
    April 4, 2019 / 12:14 pm

    Anastasia you have no idea how sorry I am to read this post. Working with you these past months I find you one of the most honest and altruistic people so I am really sorry to hear that some talk badly about you behind your back. If nothing else, it proves how little they know you. Please keep blogging and never stop amusing us with pictures of Cruz!

    Ruth
    x

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:44 pm

      Than you Ruth for your kind comment! xx

  3. April 4, 2019 / 12:22 pm

    Don’t they know where the unfollow button is?
    I love your posts – and your accent! Keep your chin up x

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:43 pm

      Aah (deep sigh) Cristy, I so wish they’d unfollow instead. I mean, not everyone will like me but why make the effort to go online and be nasty about me, better unfollow me, stop reading Natbee’s and all good! Thank you for your kind comment xx

  4. April 4, 2019 / 12:41 pm

    Hi Nat, you shouldn’t loose your time with theese kind of idiot people. Connect yourself with positivity and people who like you.
    Take care yourself!

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:42 pm

      That’s it, be in the company of people who share the same motives and ambitions with you, thank you Caroline for the reminder. I hope you and baby William are well. Miss you!!!xx

  5. Hollie
    April 4, 2019 / 1:08 pm

    Such an insightful post Anastasia, well done for sharing this!! The 99% LOVE you, your website & what you are doing so please keep up your beautiful work!! Hollie xx

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:41 pm

      Thank you Hollie, thank you for all your support in real life and here on the blog for all your kind comments. Cannot wait to see you once I am back in Aberdeen xx

  6. April 4, 2019 / 3:06 pm

    I’m so sorry that you have gone through this. You are very blessed to be able to do what you do. Keep on!

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:39 pm

      Thank you Crysta for your kind comment. I am indeed very lucky to have turned my hobby into my profession and I guess, as with every job, there are some good and bad things along the way. Thank you for your comment xx

  7. April 4, 2019 / 3:21 pm

    You were in my thoughts lately, its not very you not to post on Instagram and especially not share a few daily Stories, so I knew something was wrong and I am glad to see it is not a health issue but a work related one.

    I know we talked about this before, but I feel the need to let you know once again how much I admire you for everything you have done here at Natbee’s, all while working FT and studying for a phd (I very well know that you did one no matter how many haters doubt this!).

    It hasn’t been easy and not everyone understands (or knows) how hard it is to build a brand but I want you to know that you have inspired me, and I’m sure many others, to keep working hard on my dreams and never let anything gets me down.

    You are a positive, inspiring person and I want you to keep doing what You’ve been doing all these years. I will be very sad to see you going off the internet so please pay no attention to rude people. You do you!

    Joanne xox

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:38 pm

      Thank you Joanne, I needed to hear this today!!!xx

  8. April 4, 2019 / 10:36 pm

    I am so sorry you have had to deal with this. Unfortunately with success comes jealousy, it is truly sad that anyone would go out of their way to criticize you. It is awful that they would say such rude things about your appearance and I really hope you didn’t take any of it to heart because it’s b.s. and you have nothing to worry about, you are beautiful. On what planet does someone think that is acceptable behaviour? I hope you continue to rise above it and good for you for shutting it down and calling them out where possible. I am basically out of the social aspect of blogging now because it made me feel excluded and was a waste of my mental energy. I did withdraw from blogging a bit because of it I think. Anyway I am glad you kept perspective, it really is a tiny minority of people who act this way, unfortunately, please don’t let them stop you doing what you love. xx

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:38 pm

      I dont blame you for withdrawing yourself Steff from the blogging community, most of the times it is a joy being part of it but sometimes its the worsse! Please lets do offee one day and we can discuss further, I havent seen you in ages xx

  9. April 5, 2019 / 2:02 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear that people have taken the time to write such nasty, untrue things about you online Anastasia. Please don’t let it put you off blogging because you’ve created such a lovely community already! <3

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:25 pm

      Thank you Claire, I do try and spend so much time trying to build this community, support Aberdeen and generally make Scotland (more) known all over the world. Thank you for your comment xx

  10. April 6, 2019 / 10:35 am

    Oh chuck! Sorry you’ve had to deal with this. These people have nothing better to do with their lives, how pathetic is that? It’s very easy for me to say that you should ignore the comments as I know reading stuff like that is hurtful. Just know this: for every idiot writing nonsense, there are hundreds that love you and the blog you’ve created. Xxx

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:24 pm

      Thank you Lisa, your kind comment just made my day. I don’t mind people commenting on my accent -I am actually proud of having an accent if nothing else it shows my heritage – but I see no reason for people spreading lies or making false assumptions. Theres really no basis for this. I really hope one day they will stop xx

  11. April 6, 2019 / 1:52 pm

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic. Cyberbullying is real and terrible so thank you for speaking up!

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:22 pm

      That’s the most proper definition to describe it! Never thought of it as bullying but come to think of it you are so right. Here’s to hoping negtive online forums will one day stop. xx

  12. April 6, 2019 / 2:37 pm

    Hang in there – it’s the Internet where people show their real face. Anonymity is tempting. There’s so much random and pointless hate coming towards bloggers for no reason that once upon a time I’ve written a post about dealing with it myself.

    Just today I’ve received a negative comment to my blog post based on a Facebook caption. The person didn’t even read the intro and jumped into random conclusions! 🙂

    But even worse, there are bloggers who stoop low to the level of trolls. Get in argues, talk back, get vulgar. It’s so sad to see. Stay classy, girl bloggers! <3

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:20 pm

      Wow thats really low!!! I once had a lady calling me disgusting because I mentioned under one of my travel posts that in Norway people eat whales. I did NOT try the meat and never said I did in my blogpost but she messaged me saying how can I eat whale, without even reading the piece!

      Sometimes its funny how people have so much free time, some others, its just sad. I am truly sorry you experience the same thing. Heres to hopinh one day it will stop!

      Thank you for your comment so much xx

  13. April 10, 2019 / 6:09 am

    How can people be so nasty! It’s a bit of a cliche, but so true, when people hate that much they tend to have huge problems themselves! Doesn’t make it any easier to take though!

    Definitely best to never read the hate, I think you do a great job – your photos are BEAUTIFUL and I love your positivity and love for travel and adventure!

    • Anastasia
      Author
      April 26, 2019 / 4:17 pm

      Ooh Chloe thank you so much I needed to hear this so much today! It is sad indeed that someone will take the time to write nasty things for anyone, especially if you have never met them in real life. It is easy to make assumptions based on a few insta-posts but I have figured tht even though I try to be as honest as it gets people still comment negatively. Nevermind, I am back to blogging now and I feel much better that I got all this out of my chest! Thank you for your very kind words xx

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